It has been about 7 months since I last made a post here. Life has been exhausting. Work has been exhausting. Everything is exhausting.
We all know the economy is in rough shape and the job market is horrible. Companies have laid people off and not many are hiring right now. I wake up morning wondering if I am going to be forced to let someone go. It sucks. My company has not given merit increases or raises for YEARS. We all know that as soon as the job market turns around we will probably lose half of our developers. The constant feeling of dread is exhausting.
It had been months since I had a full night's sleep. I chalked it up to the cancer surgeries, but something odd happened. While off for the holidays, knowing that I did not have to work the next day, I was able to sleep the entire night. The night before I went back to work, the sleepless nights started up again. Not sleeping is exhausting.
My company says that in 2025 we will give raises and promotions again, but it depends on revenue. I am guessing it will be very low numbers and no one will be happy. I am tired of having to tell people that, while they deserve a promotion or raise, the record profits our company has made are not high enough to be able to give promotions or raises. Letting people down is exhausting.
I work with quite a few great people and a few not-so-great people. Everything seems to always be on fire. I am not sure if things are on fire due to more complicated work, tighter timelines, trying to do more work with fewer people, or people just not caring since they feel the company does not care about them. I would guess it is a combination of all those things. Constant firefighting is exhausting.
I am not sure how long I can handle the exhaustion. My body and mind are already dealing with the consequences. Mental exhaustion and physical exhaustion are both bad for your health. My health is already bad enough.