When to Ask for Help (And When to Sit With It and Suffer a Bit)

Because Googling in a blind rage isn’t always growth.

There’s a sweet spot between asking for help too soon and spending four hours trying to fix a problem that was literally caused by a missing semicolon.

Finding that sweet spot is hard. Especially when you’re a junior dev who doesn’t want to look incompetent, or a senior who doesn’t want to look… human.

So how do you know when to keep grinding vs. when to wave the flag?

Here’s the non-fluffy, sarcasm-infused survival guide.

🤔 “Have You Tried Literally Anything Yet?”

Before asking for help, at least do a thing. Any thing.
Read the error. Search for the error. Comment out the code. Console.log your feelings.

If the only step you’ve taken is “ask Slack,” you’re not stuck—you’re just lazy.

But...

🧱 “Stuck” Means Progress Has Stopped

You are officially allowed to ask for help when:

You’re doing the same thing over and over and expecting a new result

You can’t explain what you’re trying to do without your voice going up three octaves

You’ve opened and closed the same file six times like it owes you money

🔍 Help Requests > Vague Whining

Before you ask for help, package it well:

What are you trying to do?

What have you tried already?

What’s the error?

What are you confused about?

If your message is “it’s broken pls help,” don’t be surprised when people hit you with a helpful “🤔”.

🧠 Learning = Struggle, Not Suffering

It’s okay to be uncomfortable. That’s where growth lives.
But if you’re:

Frustrated to the point of rage

Getting diminishing returns

Just clicking things and hoping

…you’re past learning and into suffering. Ask for help.

🧘 Senior Devs Ask for Help Too (Just Differently)

They:

Ask more targeted questions

Loop in the right people

Ask earlier, because they know where the cliffs are

They’re not superhuman. They just know asking early prevents thrashing later.

💥 What Happens When You Wait Too Long

You waste time

You silently spiral

You miss learning opportunities

You show up to standup looking like a dehydrated ghost who hates their IDE

🧭 TL;DR

Ask for help when:

You’ve made a real effort

You’re no longer making progress

You can explain the problem clearly

You feel the suffering outweighing the learning

Sit with it when:

You haven’t tried anything

You’re just scared of being wrong

You’re hoping someone will just do it for you

✊ mullins.io
Tech thoughts, truth bombs, and a little sarcasm.